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Jonny Wilkinson: "I’ve
spent
my life playing safe"
Photo: Michael Paler |
He’s been an international
rugby player for more than a decade, has graced three World
Cups – including victory in Sydney in 2003 – and is the
international record points score – with 1,099 – yet Jonny
Wilkinson steps into the unknown tomorrow.
At 20.45 (local time)
England’s most famous fly-half will begin the second stage
of his career by stepping out for new club Toulon for the
first time in a Top 14 fixture as they play host to Paris
giants Stade Francais in front of a partisan and passionate
home crowd.
Top 14 Table 2008/9
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Top 14
Fixtures 2009/10
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Pre-season friendlies
The intimate Stade
Felix Mayol will be rocking to chants of “Wilko, Wilko” – as
it has done in the two friendlies in which he has played to
date – and England’s injury-prone No 10 will begin life in
earnest as the highest profile import in this season’s Top
14.
The 30-year-old former
Newcastle Falcons star will be making his 13th
comeback from major injury, and yet reports coming out from
the Cote d’Azur say he looks fitter and, just as
importantly, happier than ever before.
The player himself
backs this up with an almost Zen-like appreciation that the
past can neither be changed nor re-lived.
“I’ve exhausted one
avenue and I understand that door has closed,” he said this
week. “I cannot be that person again. I don’t mean ambition
or in terms of ability. I mean I can’t be that obsessive
natured, where I become self-destructive at times, with a
kind of view of meeting expectations at all costs. I’m here
to enjoy myself, learn and find the best of me,” he added.
Toulon may not be
everyone’s idea of nirvana – it certainly wasn’t Anton
Oliver’s cup of Pastis – but for someone seeking a fresh
start, a new challenge and an atmosphere of self-belief then
it would hard to beat at present.
President Mourad Boudjellal has financed a huge round of
recruitment, with new coach Philippe Saint-Andre overseeing
the import of hardened pros, top grade internationals and
the odd left field gamble. If it clicks, and all the signs
are that it will, then it could just be the start of an
incredible journey. Wilkinson has clearly bought into the
dream and it was Saint-Andre who had to temper expectations
this week after the his new fly-half made noises about
winning the French title.
“I hope they don’t
expect too much of him,” warned the former Sale Sharks
coach. “He hasn’t played for 10 months and for us, just like
with the English team, he needs to play proper matches
rather than just train.”
Wilkinson himself is
coming across as a strange mix of love-struck adolescent on
a new date and the wise old Yoda on a quest for spiritual
nourishment.
“I’ve spent my life
playing safe, guarding against the unknown and turning in
performances which maybe rate between six and eight or nine
out of 10. Now I want to go for the 10,” he said at
England’s training session. “I don’t want to finish my
career and say ‘I did okay, I operated within myself, well
done me’. I want to be able to say I know how good I was
because I gave it everything.”
For a man who has
achieved so much in the game, but also endured so much too,
it appears that personal fulfillment is only now creeping in
top his previously controlled psyche.
“I’m going to go out
there and enjoy myself and open up the field,” he said.
“It’s going to be intense. It’s a case of saying ‘What can I
do?’ Not do what people expect me to do.”
Freedom, in other
words. Time to release those over-controlling shackles. Time
to be… French.
“I can’t be that
obsessive natured, where I become self-destructive at times,
with a view of meeting expectations at all costs. It’s a new
start for me,” he confirmed.
Mind you, that doesn’t
mean he’s eased up in training at all – more of a mental
shift than a physical one really. All that time out injured
allowed Wilkinson months (years even) to contemplate what is
really important in life. Rugby, he concluded, was integral
to his joy, but not to the exclusion of everything else.
As Bill Hicks once
memorably said: “Remember, it’s just a ride”.