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Top 14: Zen-like Wilkinson determined to enjoy himself and throw off the shackles

13 August 2009

Toulon and England fly-half Jonny Wilkinson
Jonny Wilkinson: "I’ve spent
my life playing safe"

Photo: Michael Paler

He’s been an international rugby player for more than a decade, has graced three World Cups – including victory in Sydney in 2003 – and is the international record points score – with 1,099 – yet Jonny Wilkinson steps into the unknown tomorrow.

At 20.45 (local time) England’s most famous fly-half will begin the second stage of his career by stepping out for new club Toulon for the first time in a Top 14 fixture as they play host to Paris giants Stade Francais in front of a partisan and passionate home crowd.

Top 14 Table 2008/9 / Top 14 Transfers / ProD2 Transfers / Top 14 Fixtures 2009/10 / Pre-season friendlies

The intimate Stade Felix Mayol will be rocking to chants of “Wilko, Wilko” – as it has done in the two friendlies in which he has played to date – and England’s injury-prone No 10 will begin life in earnest as the highest profile import in this season’s Top 14.

The 30-year-old former Newcastle Falcons star will be making his 13th comeback from major injury, and yet reports coming out from the Cote d’Azur say he looks fitter and, just as importantly, happier than ever before.

The player himself backs this up with an almost Zen-like appreciation that the past can neither be changed nor re-lived.

“I’ve exhausted one avenue and I understand that door has closed,” he said this week. “I cannot be that person again. I don’t mean ambition or in terms of ability. I mean I can’t be that obsessive natured, where I become self-destructive at times, with a kind of view of meeting expectations at all costs. I’m here to enjoy myself, learn and find the best of me,” he added.

Toulon may not be everyone’s idea of nirvana – it certainly wasn’t Anton Oliver’s cup of Pastis – but for someone seeking a fresh start, a new challenge and an atmosphere of self-belief then it would hard to beat at present.

 

President Mourad Boudjellal has financed a huge round of recruitment, with new coach Philippe Saint-Andre overseeing the import of hardened pros, top grade internationals and the odd left field gamble. If it clicks, and all the signs are that it will, then it could just be the start of an incredible journey. Wilkinson has clearly bought into the dream and it was Saint-Andre who had to temper expectations this week after the his new fly-half made noises about winning the French title.

“I hope they don’t expect too much of him,” warned the former Sale Sharks coach. “He hasn’t played for 10 months and for us, just like with the English team, he needs to play proper matches rather than just train.”

Wilkinson himself is coming across as a strange mix of love-struck adolescent on a new date and the wise old Yoda on a quest for spiritual nourishment.

“I’ve spent my life playing safe, guarding against the unknown and turning in performances which maybe rate between six and eight or nine out of 10. Now I want to go for the 10,” he said at England’s training session. “I don’t want to finish my career and say ‘I did okay, I operated within myself, well done me’. I want to be able to say I know how good I was because I gave it everything.”

For a man who has achieved so much in the game, but also endured so much too, it appears that personal fulfillment is only now creeping in top his previously controlled psyche.

“I’m going to go out there and enjoy myself and open up the field,” he said. “It’s going to be intense. It’s a case of saying ‘What can I do?’ Not do what people expect me to do.”

Freedom, in other words. Time to release those over-controlling shackles. Time to be… French.

“I can’t be that obsessive natured, where I become self-destructive at times, with a view of meeting expectations at all costs. It’s a new start for me,” he confirmed.

Mind you, that doesn’t mean he’s eased up in training at all – more of a mental shift than a physical one really. All that time out injured allowed Wilkinson months (years even) to contemplate what is really important in life. Rugby, he concluded, was integral to his joy, but not to the exclusion of everything else.

As Bill Hicks once memorably said: “Remember, it’s just a ride”.

 


 
 
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